Programmers everywhere will tell you that computers are the source of all woes, and that their craft is a complete utter shitshow. Everything is built up on something else that someone made just couple of years ago and depends on something else that someone else made and it seems like none of these things are going to last any more than a couple of years.
This isn’t unique to programming (I mean, I’m sure anybody who has spent long enough with their work, from accounting to zumba fitness, will tell you that their work is complete rubbish, independent to whether or not they actually enjoy it). This is also basically how science works, too.
Every piece of mathematics’s black magic is just built on something else some other guy has established. Every successfully proven theory on how physics even work rely on the theories that were proven long ago. When you’re studying a science, you’re not so much filling yourself with knowledge of the universe’s intricacies, as just trying to understand whatever the folks before you were talking about.
I wonder if part of my anxiety for the passing of time is because of my habits with video games. In games it’s easier to see the numbers and carefully plan your actions. If there’s only three slots left to play your cards, you don’t try to squeeze in two cards that require two slots each, you pick one and choose another card that only need one slot, or–occasionally this is an even better choice–play three cards with each only needing one slot.When there’s a card that says “Use up every slots left”, you don’t use it when you have five free slots. You fill up four slots first.
In real life, it’s easier to make mistakes, and to do over and over again. Every time there’s a free time, I tend to overthink of what to do, how much worth will they be for the time that they’ll eat up. Whenever I’m left with nothing to do but wait, like while commuting, or when it’s five minutes to class and it’s far to short a time to go out and get something to eat, I’m left feeling a disconcerted, uneasy, anxious. Like a complete loser, like someone who has only one slot left, but has already used up all the one-slot cards