Every startup writers have a problem, and each problem is different to each and everyone. Some have problem describing scenery, other for action prose. Other (most, really) procrastinate too much, and other write too much details and turn their story into some horrible lump of unreadable substance. Some people have problem making characters that fit their story, other have problem making a story that fit their characters.
And I? I don’t have any problem writing. Idea spurt out all the time, words flow out of my fingers like a river knowing exactly which part of the ocean it’ll end up at. I have a billion stories in my repository, half a million characters and characteristic to go to, thousands of places, settings, plot and world to go to. I have plots ready, stories made in my head, action set up, and tricks and twists ready in their alleys.
And I have found my way of words. Way back, I used to be mad that I can’t make words dance the way I’ve read so many people do in the numerous books and stories I’ve read; now the words dance for me, whether I want to or not. It might not be a good dance, but it’s mine. They dance, they sing for me. I am a word weaver. It might be not to everybody’s liking, but I like it. And that is enough.
No, my problem isn’t with the prose that disagree with me, or a story that does not form. The problem is that I just can’t finish these damn stories. I’ll write, and then I lost interest and start writing something else. I make up stories, ideas, so many orphaned concepts, but I never did manage to pull them off through to the logical conclusion. Simply put, I am distracted. By myself. and try as I might, I just can’t hold on to a story for more than I feel like I have to hold on to them, which last variably between a few seconds to only a few days.
I still write. Little doodles, short flash fic, paragraphs that I try to make finished by themselves, or at least looks finished. But they’re just doodles. They’re nothing like what I wanted them to be. I just can’t hold on to something a strong as a proper story yet. My web can be small and big, but never truly completed. I am like a drunk spider, so encompassed with the idea of making her web, she never bother to have them catch any bugs. Just more webs, in all sort of size, shapes, kinds.
Surprise. It happens on drawing as well. And playing music. And all sort of projects. Deadlines, punishment, whips, reward, either carrot or stick, nothing has convinced me to see them through to the end.
I hope some day I will.